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| First meeting! |
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| Next day--he loves the swing, let me tell you. |
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| A nanny is trying to get Alex to walk. He can't, but he can stand with support for a while. |
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| More swinging! |
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Introducing Alex
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Preparing for change
A few nights before we left on this trip, we took the kids out to a local sit-down restaurant and had a relatively long conversation about the adoption -- specifically, what would change, and what would stay the same. We actually brought along a pen and paper to write things down. The kids were very insightful -- and encouragingly to us, ahead of the game in terms of their expectations. Here's the list they came up with:
THINGS THAT WILL STAY THE SAME
THINGS THAT WILL STAY THE SAME
- same bedtime
- the school we go to
- same house
- same chores
- same rules
- our parents will love us the same (one of the kids came up with that on their own!)
- same sicknesses
- still going to church and the Catholic Worker [house of hospitality]
- still go to the park
- still pray
- maybe a wheelchair and ramp
- we'll need to help out more
- but we will have less work in the long run (fewer chores because of another sibling)
- Alex will get more attention at first, which means the other kids will get less for a while
- maybe we won't go as many places for a while
- Matthew (age 2) might have more tantrums
- we'll have more fun!
- Alex might be a good playmate for Julia (age 7)
- we'll learn how to trust each other more
- we'll learn weird words
Pictures from the capital
I thought I would have more time to blog this week, but honestly, we've been taking advantage of having down time in a major Eastern European city...which means we have been walking and walking and walking all over the historic district. Unfortunately, since Alex's country (like most EE countries) forbids associating information about the adoptive child with the name of the country, I'm somewhat restricted in what I can write. I am hoping to start a separate blog about our travels, but for now, here are a few pictures especially for other Reece's Rainbow adoptive families who might be traveling after us.
Here is a picture of the door leading to our apartment:
Interesting, huh? You put a sort of magnet key thing on the side of the door, open it up, and you see this:
See that narrow little box on the left there, the one with the button on the side? That would be the ELEVATOR. Extremely small and extremely basic, but apparently functional. Probably dates from the '50s or '60s. We took it once, to haul up the luggage. After that we just preferred hoofing it up the six flights of stairs. Then there's this double-door arrangement; you open the deadbolt on this sort of steel safe-like door, and then there's the more decorative inner door behind it. And behind that...a pretty decent little one-bedroom apartment, complete with a little kitchenette and small balcony. I didn't take any pictures because really, it's pretty nondescript. Think of a mid-range hotel room.
Actually, I guess I lied, because here is a picture of Susan with Nico, a member of the local rr team who helped set us up in the apartment. He picked us up from the airport, helped us change our money, brought us to the apartment, and took us grocery shopping at the local mini-market.
Here is a bad picture of the local mini-market. It's an upscale place with an organic deli attached. We've had mixed experiences there. On the one hand, we made a lot of basic mistakes, like getting in the wrong line (only one cash register takes credit cards) and handing money directly rather than leaving it on the money plate provided on the counter (a widespread expectation in this country -- unless you're dealing with an outdoor vendor, you never hand money directly to someone; you put it down, then they pick it up, and place the change back on the plate). There's the usual difficulty with the language barrier. And this afternoon we were followed very closely by a security guy -- as in, he was two steps behind us the entire time we were shopping, and looking directly at us. On the other hand, the shop women have been largely cordial, and a couple have been very helpful. One woman took us all over the store finding different things we had written on a list in Russian, giggling the whole time; the other shop women looked on, amused. Another woman helped us load minutes on our phone card from the electronic kiosk. She didn't know any English, but between my very limited russian and her enthusiastic gestures, we figured it out.
Speaking of food, we visited a certain buffet restaurant that turned out to be very good. Normally I hear "buffet" and run the other way, but this place advertised traditional cuisine, and it delivered. All of the food was excellently prepared, and the ambiance was nice, too. The price was also very good; each of the meals pictured below ran $11 - $13 -- total, for two people, including drinks.
This was one of the meals we had for Susan's birthday celebration:
Our apartment building is on the immediate right, above the Gemma. It's on a very long, somewhat steep hill.
And finally...here is some of the food we bought on a recent grocery trip. A large bottle of water, a box of pineapple/banana/orange juice, four yogurt drinks, and two yogurts, all for about $12.
Here is a picture of the door leading to our apartment:
Interesting, huh? You put a sort of magnet key thing on the side of the door, open it up, and you see this:
See that narrow little box on the left there, the one with the button on the side? That would be the ELEVATOR. Extremely small and extremely basic, but apparently functional. Probably dates from the '50s or '60s. We took it once, to haul up the luggage. After that we just preferred hoofing it up the six flights of stairs. Then there's this double-door arrangement; you open the deadbolt on this sort of steel safe-like door, and then there's the more decorative inner door behind it. And behind that...a pretty decent little one-bedroom apartment, complete with a little kitchenette and small balcony. I didn't take any pictures because really, it's pretty nondescript. Think of a mid-range hotel room.
Actually, I guess I lied, because here is a picture of Susan with Nico, a member of the local rr team who helped set us up in the apartment. He picked us up from the airport, helped us change our money, brought us to the apartment, and took us grocery shopping at the local mini-market.
Here is a bad picture of the local mini-market. It's an upscale place with an organic deli attached. We've had mixed experiences there. On the one hand, we made a lot of basic mistakes, like getting in the wrong line (only one cash register takes credit cards) and handing money directly rather than leaving it on the money plate provided on the counter (a widespread expectation in this country -- unless you're dealing with an outdoor vendor, you never hand money directly to someone; you put it down, then they pick it up, and place the change back on the plate). There's the usual difficulty with the language barrier. And this afternoon we were followed very closely by a security guy -- as in, he was two steps behind us the entire time we were shopping, and looking directly at us. On the other hand, the shop women have been largely cordial, and a couple have been very helpful. One woman took us all over the store finding different things we had written on a list in Russian, giggling the whole time; the other shop women looked on, amused. Another woman helped us load minutes on our phone card from the electronic kiosk. She didn't know any English, but between my very limited russian and her enthusiastic gestures, we figured it out.
Speaking of food, we visited a certain buffet restaurant that turned out to be very good. Normally I hear "buffet" and run the other way, but this place advertised traditional cuisine, and it delivered. All of the food was excellently prepared, and the ambiance was nice, too. The price was also very good; each of the meals pictured below ran $11 - $13 -- total, for two people, including drinks.
This was one of the meals we had for Susan's birthday celebration:
Our apartment building is on the immediate right, above the Gemma. It's on a very long, somewhat steep hill.
And finally...here is some of the food we bought on a recent grocery trip. A large bottle of water, a box of pineapple/banana/orange juice, four yogurt drinks, and two yogurts, all for about $12.
Planes, no trains, and automobiles
It's Sunday evening now and we're packing up to go to Alex's part of the country. This will be a 3-4 hr drive in the morning (we're not driving, one of the facilitators is!). Then we find a social worker, get her or him to come along and go to Alex's institution. (The first visit must be mediated by a social worker.) We visit Alex (typing that seems a bit surreal), we accept the referral, and we go to a sort of nearby large town with a notary to fill out paperwork and file it, so we can get the court clock running. Then we get put into a new apartment, which we will be sharing with a facilitator for a couple of days (it's a three-bedroom apartment). There is no wifi there yet; it needs to be connected...soon. We do have a modem for the computer that should work if this small town has 3G mobile phone service. But it is possible that we will not be in touch immediately, as much as we would like to be. Don't worry about us, but please pray this goes well.
This meeting with Alex will likely be short. But we will receive a schedule for visiting him the following days--almost certainly daily and somewhat longer visits.
I'm kind of looking forward to the drive because we have been walking all over the capital city the past three days, and I'm sore! This is a very walkable city and the weather has been beautiful. It feels a lot like NYC in the boroughs to me, but safer. Everyone has been friendly with our middlin' Russian. Jerry has downloaded some pictures but we've barely had time to do anything with them. If there is time tonight we'll get some up. In the meantime--blessed Pentecost to you all and I hope you hear from us soon.
Peace, Susan
p.s. Chris, yes, I've had borscht and vareniskies (like peirogies), among other things. Not a huge fan of borscht but it was better here than at home, and the vareniskies were excellent. But the capital city (esp the tourist center where we are near) is pretty cosmopolitan and we've eaten a spectrum of things and made sandwiches at home. The yogurt here is amazing.
p.p.s. to all my fellow theology geeks--yes, we've been doing the church tours here. I hope that will be another post, just for fun.
This meeting with Alex will likely be short. But we will receive a schedule for visiting him the following days--almost certainly daily and somewhat longer visits.
I'm kind of looking forward to the drive because we have been walking all over the capital city the past three days, and I'm sore! This is a very walkable city and the weather has been beautiful. It feels a lot like NYC in the boroughs to me, but safer. Everyone has been friendly with our middlin' Russian. Jerry has downloaded some pictures but we've barely had time to do anything with them. If there is time tonight we'll get some up. In the meantime--blessed Pentecost to you all and I hope you hear from us soon.
Peace, Susan
p.s. Chris, yes, I've had borscht and vareniskies (like peirogies), among other things. Not a huge fan of borscht but it was better here than at home, and the vareniskies were excellent. But the capital city (esp the tourist center where we are near) is pretty cosmopolitan and we've eaten a spectrum of things and made sandwiches at home. The yogurt here is amazing.
p.p.s. to all my fellow theology geeks--yes, we've been doing the church tours here. I hope that will be another post, just for fun.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Taking the adoption process one step at a time...literally
Today was supposed to be a pretty low-key adoption day, with our only official work being picking up some paperwork (a huge stack of papers that constitute our official referral to Alex)…supposedly a five-minute process. But when we arrived at the Ministry of Sports and Culture building (which houses the official adoption bureau), we found a line of other parents waiting outside because the official who was supposed to start handing out the signed referrals at 3 p.m. hadn’t arrived yet. So we waited outside the building for almost an hour. We spent the time shopping for souvenirs (picked up a couple t-shirts), watching the swarm of workers restoring the cobblestone street and the surrounding buildings for the upcoming Eurocup soccer match (a huge deal here, on the order of a Superbowl), admiring a nearby church that was so large and resplendent that it should have been a cathedral (but it wasn’t), chatting with the other adopting couples, and getting to know Ludmilla, one of our facilitators, a little bit better. Ludmilla offered lots of interesting insights into her work, and the way that the adoption system works in this country.
Once the adoption official arrived, the process of signing the proper registry only took a few minutes. (Everything official is done on paper; nothing is electronic, which slows down the process a lot.)
By the time we got out, it was rush hour, and hard to find a cab. So we decided to walk home; our facilitator was going in the same direction, so she joined us. Along the way, she patiently answered our many questions about the culture in this Eastern European country, and gave us some advice on polite behavior: Never wear a hat indoors. Never cross your arms or legs during an official meeting. Don’t whistle indoors. Don’t sit on the floor. (The latter being part of a wider set of beliefs about the dangers of exposure to the cold.) She also pointed out some of the major landmarks along the route as we passed through the city’s historic district.
We stopped for dinner at a restaurant serving the local cuisine, then continued to walk the rest of the way home. We’re walking a lot around here, distances of several miles at a time. It’s like the adoption process…taking it one step at a time will get you there eventually.
Once the adoption official arrived, the process of signing the proper registry only took a few minutes. (Everything official is done on paper; nothing is electronic, which slows down the process a lot.)
By the time we got out, it was rush hour, and hard to find a cab. So we decided to walk home; our facilitator was going in the same direction, so she joined us. Along the way, she patiently answered our many questions about the culture in this Eastern European country, and gave us some advice on polite behavior: Never wear a hat indoors. Never cross your arms or legs during an official meeting. Don’t whistle indoors. Don’t sit on the floor. (The latter being part of a wider set of beliefs about the dangers of exposure to the cold.) She also pointed out some of the major landmarks along the route as we passed through the city’s historic district.
We stopped for dinner at a restaurant serving the local cuisine, then continued to walk the rest of the way home. We’re walking a lot around here, distances of several miles at a time. It’s like the adoption process…taking it one step at a time will get you there eventually.
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