A glimmer of hope?

As most of you know, we've been praying and fasting ever since learning that the adoption authorities in Alex's home country won't even look at our paperwork until March 29 (we had hoped to be traveling by then) due to a change in the way that they process their adoptions. The change basically took Alex out of the "special needs" adoption list and put him onto the same list as kids waiting for adoption without special needs.

On Friday morning we received word from Reece's Rainbow that a new special needs list is in the process of being "registered" with the Ministry of Justice; if that comes to pass, and if Alex's condition (moderate cerebral palsy) is on the list, it could mean we'd get bumped up in the queue again -- we wouldn't be waiting until March 29 for consideration. Those are two big "ifs," and already we are hearing from the in-country team that the General Prosecutor's office may challenge the new list after it is registered, on the grounds that it is not inclusive enough.

Regardless, it is heartening to see movement on this issue. Even if Alex does not benefit directly, an expanded special needs list will bring hope to many of the children who would otherwise be stuck there. On that note, we recently heard from another family who is adopting from Alex's country (they hand-carried our paperwork over there, saving us $100)...at the medical appointment required by the U.S. Embassy before bringing a child into the United States, the doctor told the new mom, "You made a mistake. You should have just left him there." And later added: "And if you had any decency, you would keep him medicated so the rest of us wouldn't have to deal with him."

Yeah. Unbelievable. This kid has been sedated for more than a year, and now we're seeing pictures of him eating and smiling and saying English words, and he's only been off the sedation for a few days and home in the U.S. for a day. What a remarkable transformation.

Just to balance that rather sad story out, another family went through that clinic for their required physical (this is a US requirement by the way, checking for infectious diseases), and the doctor asked what she thought of her new daughter's former orphanage.  Since the mom adopted from a first class orphanage and thought so highly of the people who worked there, she gave a glowing report.  The doctor actually began to cry, saying "This is so good.  I NEVER hear reports this good."  There are plenty of people in Alex's home country who do not share the view of the first doctor.  The team that works with Reece's Rainbow over there contains a few of them. From what we've read and heard, they work tirelessly to rescue and advocate for these kids. Another bit of goodness...we continue to be overwhelmed by the level of prayer support being offered for Alex and the other children in his situation. We just received a card in the mail the other day from a friend who is offering a Mass for this intention; and after Ash Wednesday services, the nine-year-old daughter of some friends of ours came up to us to say that she had fasted from chocolate during our novena (nine days of prayer). Amazing. And I got a note from a new Reece's Rainbow friend that she would be continuing to fast from chocolate for this cause until we get a travel date for Alex. Wow.

Thanks for all the support, people. It's been quite a roller coaster, but it's all good. We'll keep you posted.

Day #10...still praying!

Ha! And you thought we were done praying after nine days!

Well, although our novena is over (and thanks to everyone who joined us), of course we're still praying intensely for Alex's well-being. Today we're taking turns going to church to pray, and I will be continuing my fast from sweets until we hear some good news about Alex. (Those of you who know me know that it is no small thing for me to give up my sweet treats! I got very strange looks at our local homeless shelter [the Winona Catholic Worker] the other night when I passed up dessert. "Are you sick?" was one guy's incredulous reaction. Apparently I need to cut back on sweets anyway!)

This time has been a good opportunity for reflection and spiritual growth. We pray for Alex's welfare knowing that prayer is relational, not magic; that God is God, not our personal servant; that there is a larger context for everything that happens that we cannot see or know; that God respects free will (even of government bureaucrats, darn it!); that, in short, our preferred "answer" to prayer -- having the date of our dossier review moved up from March 29 to something more reasonable -- might not happen. Still, we pray...because God is God, but also our Friend and source of life; because being in His presence helps us get through hard times; because when there is nothing we can do, we are led to rely more on Him; because God ALWAYS finds a way to bring something good out of something bad, even if it's not the way we expect -- that's the promise of the Resurrection, isn't it? And it is fun to participate in that trick of grace turning things upside down and inside out and surprising all of us once more.

- Jerry

The ninth day

I want to thank everyone who has encouraged us and even participated in our novena and fasting for a quicker date for Alex's adoption. Jerry and I have been humbled by the number of people taking it upon themselves to join with us in rescuing Alex from a bleak situation. If you could bear to keep Alex and us in your prayers, we'd greatly appreciate it. My spiritual director suggested that the inspiration to do and complete the fasting, which I don't typically do or enjoy, may have been a divine help to "keep my head above water" this past week. He may be right; it does feel to me like it was a gift. What next? Not sure.  I do know we need to keep praying.... Thanks again.--Susan

And now it's day #5....

We're over half way on the novena, and the fasting.  We've been contacted by at least 30 people who are praying with us, and a surprising number of you all are fasting from something as well.  We really appreciate it--I can't tell you how much.

As we started the novena/fast (I'm fasting from Diet Coke, which I actually thought could be harder than food--I'm seriously addicted; Jerry is fasting from all sweets), we got a lot of sympathy from friends and family about this turn of events.  And trust me, we wish we were getting set to go to Alex's country and get him!  But at least for me, the response to offer a novena and fast has been incredibly peaceful.  As I was telling a friend, this entire process has felt like a spiritual battle.  On the one hand, this has been one of the most obviously God-directed set of events in our lives as a married couple.  I could go on and on...Jerry "heard" the same message from God that I heard, which I had not shared with him, the financing fell into place within a day, we had a setback at the front end that cost us $150 and the next day, a person walks up to me and offers us $150 for the adoption costs.  Many, many things like that.  On the other hand...and this has been less the case with us, but still...it is striking how many of those adopting these kids will talk about spiritual warfare and quickly.  Weird, sad things happen to discourage these parents...such as families disowning them (really), lightning striking the house and killing the power the evening a family decides to commit (really), a family's home gets robbed and they steal the passports a month before leaving, etc.... It's almost a running joke, or warning, or both.  Expect weird things to happen, because there is something out there that is perfectly happy with the reality that there are vulnerable children being neglected in institutions.

So why do I share all this?  It occurred to me that if this is indeed more a spiritual battle than anything else, the weapons given to us in all such battles are prayer and fasting. Period.  Fight with those weapons and you are done.  After all, there is nothing else you can likely do. 

It also intrigues me that I had to stop drinking massive amounts of caffeine a few years ago, and I had to stop cold turkey.  It. was. miserable.  I had the worst possible headache for a good week. This made me nervous about this upcoming fast (and I did add one caffeine drink in the morning for these nine days, so I'd avoid the headache and be tolerable to live with--I was already really sick when beginning this).  Well, this fast has been very easy by comparison, with only a small headache the first night.  Otherwise, nothing.  Honestly, it's been a joy.  I've been happy to be doing this.  Do I want the caffeine?  Yes.  Am I happy to give it up for Alex?  Yes!  The relative ease of the fast underlines for me that this was God's intention for us, and that prayer and fasting are where we need to be.

So this is in God's hands, and it always has been.  It's a good place.  We live in hope.

***

I also wanted to share that I talked with another person who has some knowledge (admittedly secondhand) of Alex's institution, and she said that while it is a basic care institution, it is not too bad as they go, and she didn't think neglect was going on.  It's not much to go on, and it's clear he still needs to get out--but I was glad to hear that little bit, since that meshes with the information we were initially told as well.

Keep praying!  Thank you again, everyone.

--Susan

What happened?

A lot of people have been asking that, so I will give you the basics, which we just figured out today (with some help).  As I said, the much delayed dossier submission date was a big surprise all round.

Alex's country has had two big things happen with its adoptions lately: the country restricted the special needs list they use for international adoption this past summer.  As is, you cannot adopt a child from his country unless he/she is five years old (and of course, available for adoption).  This is to encourage domestic adoption, which isn't very common there.  But if the child has special needs, and is available, that child CAN be internationally adopted after being on the register for one year (so as young as one year old).  On the new list this summer, many typical special needs were not on that list--including cerebral palsy, Alex's special need.

But Alex is five, right?  So it doesn't matter?  Mostly, it doesn't matter.  He is available for adoption, but since that list doesn't have CP on it, we are trying to adopt him through the "not special needs" venue.  Since there is a much longer list for developmentally typical children, we got placed by the government in that batch.  To make it more complicated, they have different batches by ages.  Since five years old is the youngest for developmentally typical international adoptions, we're in the biggest batch.  So we got this date of March 29th to submit the dossier.  From the govt's perspective, it's crowd control.

Finally, if you are really in the know with Reece's Rainbow, and you're thinking "hey--so and so just adopted a child with CP last week!  I don't remember that happening!", yes, well, the other big thing going on with his country's adoption practices: the gov't has been reorganizing the department of adoption.  So they just began applying the new rule with this first wave of dossiers (they've been not accepting dossiers over December and January).  We got a run of phenomenally bad luck with this.  It is no one person's fault at all.

One thing that would move this up dramatically is if the list of special needs could be updated, which the country's parliament has been batting around for weeks, and include CP.  Frankly, it should also include spina bifida, which requires treatment that country doesn't have, FAS, and HIV.  Right now, the list is basically Down Syndrome, other trisomy disorders, arthrogryposis, congenital blindness and/or deafness, and advanced mortal disease.  So praying for an expanded list would not only help Alex, it would help a lot of kids.  It could happen.  Other scenarios can move us up too.  Keep praying!

***

Please let us share how touched we are that so many people are praying, and a surprising number fasting, with us.  This absolutely feels like the right thing to do.  And here I am at the end of the first day of no caffeinated Diet Coke, and I just have a bad cold, not the caffiene withdrawal headache!  (I did drink a coffee, not something I like, this morning to prevent the withdrawal symptoms, but still!)  I hope your prayers and fasting are going well.  We'll keep you updated!

--Susan

When the going gets tough, the tough start praying!

Well, everyone, we received some frustrating news. The adoption authority in Alex's home country has told us the dossier may be submitted March 29th. That's over six weeks later than we expected! And with extended approval time, and waiting for a travel date time, that puts traveling to meet Alex and adopt him well into ... May.

• All together: AUGGGGHHHHH!
• And as our kids reacted, sputtering: "That's not fair!" (We have expected early March all along.) Yes, kids, you get that point better than those fun-loving bureaucrats. We realize adopting is a privilege and not a right. But when literally everything is done, approved, translated, and collecting dust in a tray, waiting three months to travel is a bitter pill to swallow.

This far-out dossier date was unexpected on everyone's part. Because the adoption authority just reorganized, they instituted some new rules around ceasing to fast-track many special needs adoptions. We're getting caught in that delay through no fault of ours, no fault of our facilitators, and certainly no fault of Alex's. Remember--the government doesn't even formally know we hope to adopt him, due to the way they handle international adoptions. They just know we want to adopt a child his age with his special need.

Alex's country being what it is, this could "change back" to a fast-tracking process. That is our best hope for getting the date moved up. Honestly, we're ready to go. Alex is no doubt ready to have a better life: a family that loves him, therapy for his CP, an opportunity to learn. And he needs out of the institution--he's not hanging out at the Club Med. This date is just one more hurdle.

After a difficult few hours, we realized there is really nothing we can do to change this situation but pray. The situation feels like we need prayer and fasting (Mt 17:21). Jerry is fasting from sweets. I am going to be fasting from Diet Coke for nine days (those of you who know me know I'm dead serious now, because I'm completely addicted). If you feel led to fast for smooth and quick sailing for Alex's adoption, please do. You can tell us, or not, but we do appreciate it regardless.

Also, we are encouraging people to do nine days of prayer with us (our Catholic friends know this is called a novena, nothing "magical" about it, just a set period of intense intentional prayer). We're going to be praying a short prayer for the intercession of St. Joseph, who, as the foster father of Jesus, has a special love for those in need of fathers. You should feel free to pray for Alex's quick and smooth adoption process as you wish--if you pray in another fashion you prefer, please add Alex to your prayers for nine days with us all. But if you want to join us:

St. Joseph, foster-father and protector of Jesus Christ! To you do I raise my heart and hands to implore your powerful intercession. Please obtain for me from the kind Heart of Jesus the help and graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare. I ask particularly for the grace of a happy death, and the special favor I now implore, that Alex is kept safe and well, and that his adoption move forward quickly.

Guardian of the Word Incarnate, I feel animated with confidence that your prayers in my behalf will be graciously heard before the throne of God.

V. O glorious St. Joseph, through the love you bear to Jesus Christ, and for the glory of His name,
R. Hear my prayers and obtain my petitions.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us, and move quickly this adoption of your small friend, Alex.

Amen.

The novena and fasting will start for us Thursday, February 9th. Please consider joining us in some fashion. We will post reminder updates on the facebook page for Alex (feel free to "like" the page and follow that way). We trust God has our back in this, but Jesus did say "Ask and you shall receive"--which means he wants us to ask for great things! We will accept God's response in any case, but we are compelled to ask for a much sooner travel date, against all bureaucratic desires. By the way, we know: moving out the travel date by three months doesn't seem like too long, but when you are a child who cannot walk living in a mental institution, and when you are prospective parents not knowing how your son is really doing, and when there is no need for it--three months is too long to wait.

Thank you, everyone. We believe Alex will thank you, too.

And the dossier is in Alex's country!

Yes, thank you, DHL!  (That's a Germany based global delivery service.)  The "extra papers" arrived and were signed for this afternoon (Eastern Europe time).  Plus we heard the the "first part" of the dossier was accepted by the government ministry, so we are waiting for a date to submit the dossier (which may be in two weeks, I hope for sooner).  Then we wait a bit longer and get a travel date.  We're inching there, folks.  Hang on, Alex.