$600 on its way to Ukraine orphans

Photo collage by Adrienne, Alex's PCA

As I write this, our friend (and fellow graduate of the Ukrainian adoption families class of '12) is winging her way to Ukraine--for the third time, mind you. While she's there, she and her husband will be adopting four children, including one from Alex's institution. And when she visits the institution, she will bring along the $600 we raised, with many generous contributions.

Please pray for "Renee" and her family. The next couple of months are going to be challenging, even if all goes well. It's a good thing they have a spirit of adventure and a deep faith.


We'll keep you posted when we learn more about how the money is used; in the meantime, you can follow her blog at But By Grace....

Remembering Henry

Little Henry Augustin Dobrovits passed away yesterday afternoon.Henry was the two-year-old son of Paul and Carla Dobrovits, who adopted him from Ukraine last year. You can read a summary of their amazing story -- and the impact it has had -- here.

 Very early in the process of adopting Alex, we called up Carla to get the scoop on what we might expect. Carla and Paul had just returned from Ukraine within the past few months, and Henry was in the same baby house as Alex (before Alex was transferred), so it made sense to talk to Carla. She spent an hour or two answering all our stupid questions and offering every piece of advice she could think of...in between dealing with her seven kids, including Henry (who we got to hear in the background!). Carla was so full of energy, and so enthusiastic and on fire with her faith...we hung up the phone much better informed, and inspired by her example and can-do spirit.

That spirit has been tested in recent weeks, as you can read on her blog, Bringing Henry Home. Her family adopted Henry knowing that he had a life-threatening condition that would have killed him had it been left untreated...as I understand it, his spine was growing in such a way that it would eventually have prevented him from breathing. In the past few weeks, Carla left her family and traveled to Pennsylvania with Henry for him to have surgery to correct that condition. It sounds like it was a quite an ordeal, but they implanted some rods in his back that were supposed to correct the growth. When they came home on Nov. 15, Henry was very happy to be home.

A few days later, he developed a fever from an infection related to the surgery. Just an infection, right?

So yesterday I am checking e-mail and Facebook correspondence after a day spent down with the stomach flu, and while I am on Facebook, Carla posts that Henry's vent "crashed." Of course, people respond immediately with promises to pray. About half an hour later, Carla posts again that the medical team managed to bring him back after losing his pulse for two minutes. She is relieved, and so are we.

And ten minutes later, she posts that his vent crashed again. And then we don't hear anything more until later in the day. "Henry is finally home," she posted on her blog. "His ultimate home. The home where it was my job, as his mommy, to deliver him."

In the midst of the worst nightmare any parent can imagine, Carla and her family continue to live in a way that points to the ultimate source of all that is good and light. Once again, they are an inspiration to us.

Please pray for them as they celebrate his life at his funeral Mass on Saturday at 10 a.m. (Chicago time). Please pray for them in the weeks ahead. Pray in thanksgiving for the gift they were to him, and vice versa, during the year they had together.

If you feel so moved, you may also wish to make a donation to the family to defray their medical and funeral expenses. You can do so via the Chip-In widget below, or directly to their Paypal account at Dobspc@aol.com. Or e-mail us and we will send you their address.

Day #10...still praying!

Ha! And you thought we were done praying after nine days!

Well, although our novena is over (and thanks to everyone who joined us), of course we're still praying intensely for Alex's well-being. Today we're taking turns going to church to pray, and I will be continuing my fast from sweets until we hear some good news about Alex. (Those of you who know me know that it is no small thing for me to give up my sweet treats! I got very strange looks at our local homeless shelter [the Winona Catholic Worker] the other night when I passed up dessert. "Are you sick?" was one guy's incredulous reaction. Apparently I need to cut back on sweets anyway!)

This time has been a good opportunity for reflection and spiritual growth. We pray for Alex's welfare knowing that prayer is relational, not magic; that God is God, not our personal servant; that there is a larger context for everything that happens that we cannot see or know; that God respects free will (even of government bureaucrats, darn it!); that, in short, our preferred "answer" to prayer -- having the date of our dossier review moved up from March 29 to something more reasonable -- might not happen. Still, we pray...because God is God, but also our Friend and source of life; because being in His presence helps us get through hard times; because when there is nothing we can do, we are led to rely more on Him; because God ALWAYS finds a way to bring something good out of something bad, even if it's not the way we expect -- that's the promise of the Resurrection, isn't it? And it is fun to participate in that trick of grace turning things upside down and inside out and surprising all of us once more.

- Jerry

When the going gets tough, the tough start praying!

Well, everyone, we received some frustrating news. The adoption authority in Alex's home country has told us the dossier may be submitted March 29th. That's over six weeks later than we expected! And with extended approval time, and waiting for a travel date time, that puts traveling to meet Alex and adopt him well into ... May.

• All together: AUGGGGHHHHH!
• And as our kids reacted, sputtering: "That's not fair!" (We have expected early March all along.) Yes, kids, you get that point better than those fun-loving bureaucrats. We realize adopting is a privilege and not a right. But when literally everything is done, approved, translated, and collecting dust in a tray, waiting three months to travel is a bitter pill to swallow.

This far-out dossier date was unexpected on everyone's part. Because the adoption authority just reorganized, they instituted some new rules around ceasing to fast-track many special needs adoptions. We're getting caught in that delay through no fault of ours, no fault of our facilitators, and certainly no fault of Alex's. Remember--the government doesn't even formally know we hope to adopt him, due to the way they handle international adoptions. They just know we want to adopt a child his age with his special need.

Alex's country being what it is, this could "change back" to a fast-tracking process. That is our best hope for getting the date moved up. Honestly, we're ready to go. Alex is no doubt ready to have a better life: a family that loves him, therapy for his CP, an opportunity to learn. And he needs out of the institution--he's not hanging out at the Club Med. This date is just one more hurdle.

After a difficult few hours, we realized there is really nothing we can do to change this situation but pray. The situation feels like we need prayer and fasting (Mt 17:21). Jerry is fasting from sweets. I am going to be fasting from Diet Coke for nine days (those of you who know me know I'm dead serious now, because I'm completely addicted). If you feel led to fast for smooth and quick sailing for Alex's adoption, please do. You can tell us, or not, but we do appreciate it regardless.

Also, we are encouraging people to do nine days of prayer with us (our Catholic friends know this is called a novena, nothing "magical" about it, just a set period of intense intentional prayer). We're going to be praying a short prayer for the intercession of St. Joseph, who, as the foster father of Jesus, has a special love for those in need of fathers. You should feel free to pray for Alex's quick and smooth adoption process as you wish--if you pray in another fashion you prefer, please add Alex to your prayers for nine days with us all. But if you want to join us:

St. Joseph, foster-father and protector of Jesus Christ! To you do I raise my heart and hands to implore your powerful intercession. Please obtain for me from the kind Heart of Jesus the help and graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare. I ask particularly for the grace of a happy death, and the special favor I now implore, that Alex is kept safe and well, and that his adoption move forward quickly.

Guardian of the Word Incarnate, I feel animated with confidence that your prayers in my behalf will be graciously heard before the throne of God.

V. O glorious St. Joseph, through the love you bear to Jesus Christ, and for the glory of His name,
R. Hear my prayers and obtain my petitions.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us, and move quickly this adoption of your small friend, Alex.

Amen.

The novena and fasting will start for us Thursday, February 9th. Please consider joining us in some fashion. We will post reminder updates on the facebook page for Alex (feel free to "like" the page and follow that way). We trust God has our back in this, but Jesus did say "Ask and you shall receive"--which means he wants us to ask for great things! We will accept God's response in any case, but we are compelled to ask for a much sooner travel date, against all bureaucratic desires. By the way, we know: moving out the travel date by three months doesn't seem like too long, but when you are a child who cannot walk living in a mental institution, and when you are prospective parents not knowing how your son is really doing, and when there is no need for it--three months is too long to wait.

Thank you, everyone. We believe Alex will thank you, too.

So now what?

Well, as some of you know, Alex's home country added a new requirement to the dossier, a simple page about permission to computerize data or something. They are moving to a digital system--yes, just now, in 2012. It's not that big deal other than finding out before our dossier was sent meant I needed to take another day off work and drive to St Paul, or get the notarized document apostilled via express mail. We're doing the latter. With the MLK holiday mixed in, I hope we'll receive the document with apostille Thursday, and I will beg another family to carry it over. Apostilling isn't expensive here in Minnesota ($5 a document), but with the mailings--$70 total (and that's assuming I don't have to FedEx this sheet overseas.) Wouldn't have been any less to drive there. Phooey.

But as we write the dossier is in a plane over the Atlantic with the Wall family, getting hand-delivered. Thank you!!! That's the biggest piece. (We were also helped by the Evensens, who hand carried our most recent "initial papers"). After we wire a down payment on our facilitation fee, they will start translating in the native language. Usually that takes a week; they are swamped with families there right now so I wouldn't be surprised if it takes longer. We're still hoping that there are no snags and they are able to submit the application and dossier the first week of February.

We also talked to Nancy Smith, who adopted from the same town Alex is in last summer. That was mostly reassuring. We got lots of details about life in his small city and how to manage eating, transportation, money exchanges, down time.... Thanks, Nancy!

Jerry is learning Russian assiduously. The country is home to two, really three, languages, and we've been told this is Alex's language. I think he is doing a really good job--remember, you have to learn a new alphabet too, Cyrillic--but I am skeptical that it will help loads once we're there. I'm pretty good at Spanish but when I'm in the moment of speaking it, I stumble all over the place figuring it out. And that was with years of study. But in terms of this being more for Alex, to help him adjust more easily, I totally get it, and have said I will try to learn more (any) once the dossier is done. Jerry has been using the Pimmler system, some "Russian for talking to children" CDs, and some tutoring with a friend named Elena, from Russia but living in Winona right now. He tried LiveMocha but seems to be moving away from that program.

We're also planning out the bedroom situation (this will require some moving). We want things set up before we go.

Me, I'm trying to research and write the third fourth of the book I received a grant to write this year--I really want to get that done before travel--and while I am pleased with where I am in this project in general, the deadline is pretty anxiety-producing. If we travel in March, this MAY be doable. But it is nose to the grindstone--and frankly, there is only so fast you can do this kind of work. I would appreciate prayers to get it done.

Anyway, I think that's enough of an update, right? Thanks for hanging in there with us, everyone! We'll continue to report as the situation merits! God is in charge!

Peace, Susan

What we're praying for these days...

...is a playmate for Alex, in his current "home." It's that simple: someone to pass the time with, someone to have fun with. We're praying for this every night with the kids during our "family prayer time." Maybe you can pray for this with us!