Alex "reads" Biscuit Goes to School

Alex has loved books ever since we first introduced him to them at the orphanage -- he loves just flipping through them, for starters; it kept him occupied for maybe six hours on the long tip back to the United States from Ukraine. Once he was home, flipping through a big book was one of his favorite things to do to relax. The bigger the book, the better! Our pastor even noted it at his baptism.

In the past few months, he has also begun to show some good indicators of pre-literacy, such as:

• Asking what words say
• Identifying certain letters of the alphabet and the sound they make
• Following narratives in stories
• Pretending to read by reciting narratives from memory, using pictures as cues

The video shows an example of this last accomplishment -- although really, it wasn't his best performance. He may have been distracted by the audience (video camera plus a visiting friend).

Alex's desire to read is great, and we have no doubt he will get there, someday -- but his progress is doing to be slow. One thing that the doctors at the Mayo Clinic recently figured out is that he has a visual processing disorder that prevents him from putting the parts of a picture into a whole -- so for instance, distinguishing the difference between the capital letter I and a T is challenging for him. His occupational therapist has started working with him to identify the tops and bottoms of letters and numbers, and to break individual letters down into their constituent parts, e.g., to look for the individual strokes that distinguish letters from one another.

In the meantime, we're enjoying watching his enthusiasm for books!

Adopting Alex is now Hold On Tight!

Alex wearing his "Hold On Tight" t-shirt, given to him by his bus driver (right).

Just a quick note to let you know that we're updating the Adopting Alex blog and Facebook page. A good eighteen months after actually adopting Alex, it seemed like it was time to move on.

But as we contemplated how to do that, we realized that people are still interested in Alex's story -- the old friends who helped us adopt Alex in the first place, the new friends who have helped with his transition, and people we don't even know who have stumbled across his story online. So rather than delete the old Adopting Alex blog or let it go stale, we decided to give it a facelift.

Besides giving the website a new look, it now has its own address: www.holdalex.com. (Don't worry, all your old links will automatically redirect.) We've also started a dedicated Hold On Tight! Youtube channel for people who want to follow Alex's progress that way without being subjected to random video of our family birthday celebrations. Visit the channel to subscribe.

Those few hardy souls who are braving the wilderness of Google Plus can subscribe to the Hold On Tight! Google Plus page to get updates from this blog.

We'll try to update weekly for as long as people seem interested.

Oh . . . wondering about the name change? Over the summer, Alex attended an extended academic year program through the public school system to help him catch up, academically and developmentally. Well, his bus driver during that month-long program was so tickled that Alex would shout "Hold on tight!" every time the bus went over a bump, he actually had a t-shirt custom-made for Alex with that phrase on it. It was an endearing gesture . . . and an apt description for the amazing journey Alex -- and our whole family -- has been on.

Hold on tight, folks -- here we go!

This was Alex 16 months ago

You know, after more than a year of having "Sasha" home, it's sometimes hard to remember how much progress Alex has made . . . until you go back and look at those orphanage videos. So, just take a few minutes to compare these to the videos in the last post (from his birthday):







It's simply amazing what sixteen months have done to transform this boy. Notice how very childlike he seems -- especially notice the fascination with dropping the wand in the first video, a sort of infantile developmental task. Notice his environment -- very nonverbal. He's spoken to, but rarely speaks; when he did, his Russian was almost always deemed unintelligible by Russian speakers both in country and back here. It's amazing to compare this practically nonverbal child of sixteen months ago to the kid who chats up a storm with anyone who will listen today.

If anyone ever doubts the importance of giving kids the right environment in early childhood, they should take a look at these videos and then compare them to the kid we have today -- the kid who has emerged thanks to the dedication of an amazing team of professionals in the ISD 861 school district, his amazing PCAs, and the loving influence of his siblings.

Alex hits a new milestone

Well, Alex has been with us a little more than a year now. We just returned from a two-week long trip to Alabama (by car, five kids, you can imagine), and he has definitely gone through another one of those "developmental leaps." We came back and all the people who usually see him were just remarking on how much he had changed. In particular, we're noticing that his vocabulary is much expanded, and he is much more conversational now than previously. Also, his fine motor skills have improved greatly. When he first came to us, he didn't know what to do with a LEGO block -- he'd throw it, but he couldn't make one stick. Now he loves playing LEGOs as much as possible. Take a peek:

Taking the adoption process one step at a time...literally

Today was supposed to be a pretty low-key adoption day, with our only official work being picking up some paperwork (a huge stack of papers that constitute our official referral to Alex)…supposedly a five-minute process. But when we arrived at the Ministry of Sports and Culture building (which houses the official adoption bureau), we found a line of other parents waiting outside because the official who was supposed to start handing out the signed referrals at 3 p.m. hadn’t arrived yet. So we waited outside the building for almost an hour. We spent the time shopping for souvenirs (picked up a couple t-shirts), watching the swarm of workers restoring the cobblestone street and the surrounding buildings for the upcoming Eurocup soccer match (a huge deal here, on the order of a Superbowl), admiring a nearby church that was so large and resplendent that it should have been a cathedral (but it wasn’t), chatting with the other adopting couples, and getting to know Ludmilla, one of our facilitators, a little bit better. Ludmilla offered lots of interesting insights into her work, and the way that the adoption system works in this country.

Once the adoption official arrived, the process of signing the proper registry only took a few minutes. (Everything official is done on paper; nothing is electronic, which slows down the process a lot.)

By the time we got out, it was rush hour, and hard to find a cab. So we decided to walk home; our facilitator was going in the same direction, so she joined us. Along the way, she patiently answered our many questions about the culture in this Eastern European country, and gave us some advice on polite behavior: Never wear a hat indoors. Never cross your arms or legs during an official meeting. Don’t whistle indoors. Don’t sit on the floor. (The latter being part of a wider set of beliefs about the dangers of exposure to the cold.) She also pointed out some of the major landmarks along the route as we passed through the city’s historic district.

We stopped for dinner at a restaurant serving the local cuisine, then continued to walk the rest of the way home. We’re walking a lot around here, distances of several miles at a time. It’s like the adoption process…taking it one step at a time will get you there eventually.

Here we are (thanks to you!)

So here we are, safe and sound in the capital of Alex’s home country (we still can’t mention its name!), after a grueling 20-hour trip. In a few hours, we will have our appointment at the government’s adoption office, where we will get the referral to see Alex. Unfortunately, ever since they reorganized that department, they no longer give you the paperwork the same day; we have to wait to receive it until tomorrow, and since tomorrow is Friday, we won’t be able to see Alex until Monday. So we will have some down time in this Eastern European capital city over the weekend. Then on Monday we will be driven by Serge, the head of the Reece’s Rainbow facilitation team in this country, about four hours south of here to the institution where Alex is living, and then we will get to see him.

We’re hoping for a fast process for several reasons, one of which would be the impending European cup in early June—Europeans drop everything for their “football.” Another would be…we miss our kids at home! And we know that our youngest two year old is probably wondering when we’re coming back. We’ve had some limited success talking with them on the phone ($14 for three minutes!) and over Skype, although we’ve had a number of technical difficulties, not to mention some difficulty figuring out Skype’s very poorly planned user interface.

In the past week we haven’t had time to post anything because we’ve been insanely busy packing and preparing to be gone for several weeks (paying bills, setting up stuff for kids, doing all the gardening that would need to be done over the next month, etc.). During that week, we really felt the support, encouragement, and excitement of our wider community—family, friends, and acquaintances. Many, many people have stopped to ask about the adoption; many have offered their help, especially in terms of supporting Susan’s mom as she cares for four kids alone; many have offered prayers, which are deeply appreciated; and we’ve also received more financial help—including an anonymous donation, apparently from the same person who sent us an anonymous gift at Christmastime. You might remember that I (Jerry) was extremely reluctant to enter into this process, mainly for practical reasons, and also because I had a glimmering of how challenging it would be. (Good thing I was ignorant of the details!) In fact, I had ticked off on my fingers to Susan all the reasons why we couldn’t do this—good, solid reasons! But not an hour later we were praying at the Cathedral and I had a very strong sense that God was calling us to do this. It was striking because I have very rarely had such a strong. clear sense of God’s call. And when I pushed back against it a little, one of the things that came back to me was something like, “I want you to do this, not only for the sake of a child, but because of the many good things that will come out of this for you and your family.” The tremendous support we have felt from friends, family, and community members throughout this process has definitely got to be part of that outpouring of blessing. It is humbling to be on the receiving end of it.

Blogging this experience feels a little narcissistic, especially with so many people in our world, not to mention our immediate community and family, going through so much right now. I think in particular of my sister and her family, who are getting ready to welcome a child, Dominic, who will be born with very serious birth defects right around the time when we will be coming home with Alex. I also think about a family whose kids attend school with our kids who just lost a son to suicide. And of course we always remember in prayer the many children around the world who are suffering in worse conditions than Alex. So: we don’t want to live in an adoption bubble, to the exclusion of the needs of others around the world. But we will continue to write about this experience for the sake of our family (especially the kids!) and the extended community who have become very real partners with us on this journey.

Speaking of which, I’ve written up a little post about our trip over here for anyone who cares (mainly our kids and families); you’ll find that below.

Traveling to Alex's country

Here is the story of our journey to Alex’s country.

Susan’s mom flew up from Alabama on Saturday. The kids were very excited to see her, even our two-year-old, who mainly knows her through phone calls and Skype, being too young to remember his visit to her house last summer. She came bearing gifts and promises of smoothies and other fun things to spoil grandchildren. I prepared some care instructions for her, as well as a calendar of the kids’ many activities over the next three weeks (which includes the end of school, field trips, etc.). The care instructions have become something of a joke around here, because they run 32 pages, single-spaced (well, in 14 point type). But if you think about it, there’s a lot to tell—safety information, medical information, contact numbers, and the toddler’s basic schedule. Kids need routine, especially in a time of change. I also prepared a map of Winona and a list of fun things to do around town.

On Monday night, the night before our trip, we took the kids out for a celebratory ice cream sundae at the Lakeview Drive-in and put them to bed with promises to see them in three weeks. Each of the older kids expressed at least a little anxiety about our departure; our youngest daughter expressed a lot, eventually crying herself to sleep.

Last-minute preparations kept us up past 11 again. Then our oldest daughter woke up at around midnight complaining of nausea. (She actually stayed home from school the next day.) And then I woke up at 4 because of pre-travel nerves, which meant going into this trip on less than four hours’ sleep.

At around quarter after five we were picked up by our friend and neighbor, Todd—one of half a dozen people to offer to do that for us (thank you all!). We had a gorgeous ride to the Cities on Highway 61, which runs along the Mississippi River, and a good conversation besides.

Todd and Susan ... obviously morning people!

On the flight to Grankfurt

A TV for every passenger makes for a very quiet plane. Here Susanis tracking the progress of the flight.

We flew United Airlines from Minneapolis to Neward on a tiny little puddle jumper (we did get an exit row), then had a three-hour layover in Newark. We tried connecting with the kids on Skype but all of our technology kept going haywire, which was disappointing. The TSA screening, which we had to do twice (once in Minneapolis, once in Newark due to a change of terminals), was its usual unpleasant self. In fact I was wishing I had my camera out because we witnessed a YouTube moment when a TSA officer completely flew off the handle, shouting at a woman who refused to go through the full-body scanner. “Okay, you just wait there until you cool down, lady! You enjoy waiting, Have fun!” And then to her colleagues: “She’s a bit crazy, that woman is!” Funny, the only person acting crazy was Ms. TSA. The woman in question submitted to a pat-down without any fuss, but the TSA folks made sure to make it into a public spectacle, yelling, “Female opt out!” and stuff. In fact, there was one guy who seemed to be the designated yeller, because he kept yelling at the top of his voice to everyone in line.

The security process in Frankfurt was an interesting contrast to this—calm, orderly, quick, and quiet. No one so much as raising their voice. Hmmm.

After the frustration trying to Skype the kids, we realized that our travel agency FAILED when it came to ensuring we got exit row or bulkhead seats for my 6’7” frame. They told us to request at the gate; turns out you have to reserve online 24 hours in advance. By the time we got to the gate, the exit row seats were all taken. That meant spending the next seven hours crammed into a tiny seat—and definitely no sleep.

On the upside, the service on Luftansa was excellent. The flight was on one of those jumbo jets…our kids will think it’s cool so I included some photos. (Everyone gets their own movie screen!) They served a delicious dinner and breakfast.

We swung through Frankfurt, where I got pulled out of line for a random security check. The guy who did it was very calm, joking around…it wasn’t a problem at all. We spent our short layover in Frankfurt at McDonald’s, which had huge windows looking out onto the airport. Huge windows with lots of early morning light is just the ticket when your body is wondering what the heck you’re doing up and around at 1 in the morning.

I’ll write about our arrival in Alex’s home country later today. Right now, we’re off to the adoption appointment!

The deal on a date

Everywhere I go these days, people are asking me whether we've received our travel date yet. I think people know that we were supposed to travel sometime around now, but they're not sure when...so here's the deal on our travel date, in a nutshell:

Our paperwork was submitted to the appropriate government authorities on March 29. Before they reorganized (before Feb. 1), it only took a couple weeks from paperwork submittal to acceptance and a travel date. Since February 1, it has been taking about five weeks, give or take a week. The office processes five-year-old special needs children for international adoption on Thursdays. That means we would be most likely to receive our travel date next Thursday or May 3. We are expecting May 3...and are aware that it may be even later than that, given that they have a couple major holidays around that time.

Once the paperwork is officially accepted, the travel date is usually about two to three weeks later (usually closer to two weeks).

That means that if nothing goes wrong, we can expect to be traveling around May 20. We'll be there for three weeks and back in early June. In the meantime, there is still plenty to do to prepare...next up: in the next few days, I hope to begin making our "photo album" (a very simple overview of our family and friends and home) to show Alex and the various officials over there.

Thanks for your continued support!

And then, a bed, and a couple of puzzles, and febreze, and dried soup, and detergent sheets.

I want to pack.  Pack, pack, pack.  So I started getting travel items at Target and the dollar store.  We're trying to keep it cheap and light (we've been warned about hauling luggage here and there and everywhere with no ramps, often to fifth floor apartments--nary an elevator in sight--um, see how challenging this country is for people in wheelchairs?  Mind you, I understand they have been in an economic mess for 20 years if not more, but it does underline one reason why we are going there.

Did you know you could buy detergent sheets--throw in a sheet in a washer (or a sink of water) with clothes and there is your soap?  Pretty darn cool.  And yes, you can buy detergent in Alex's home country.  It's just that everything apparently costs about the same as it does here, so it makes sense to go ahead and pack a few things you know you'll need anyway.  And we'll be on the move a bit (capital, region, capital again)...liquid detergent doesn't travel well.

Jerry went out and bought a new mattress today, to fit under Ben's loft, on top of a bedframe.  It looks very nice, is easy enough to access, and I think it will be pleasant for him.  We transferred our 2 yr old to his sisters' room for now--which he really likes.  He's pretty attached to everyone, but his 6 yr old sister is special in some ways, the closest to him in age.

With a friend's help, we did a deep cleaning of the kitchen today...and got halfway through.  Sigh.

Spring cleaning, making room, considering what to pack...could a travel date be too far ahead?

Have a blessed Holy Week everyone!
--Susan

Making a place for Alex

Lately we have been busy physically rearranging the house to make room for Alex. Here is the larger dining room table that we picked up at a local thrift shop, thanks to the tip of a neighbor:

Our old table sat six. This one seats eight comfortably, ten in a pinch, and twelve if we put in benches. So, theoretically, we could adopt six more kids! Just kidding.

I spent last weekend rearranging the kids' rooms (for the umpteenth time). These are SMALL rooms, so rearranging the furniture in such a way as to accommodate one more child posed significant challenges. I think I spent more than an hour just trying to figure out the geometry of the girls' room (where our two-year-old will now sleep)...trying all sorts of configurations with no luck. It's difficult when you don't want the kids' beds up against the windows, blocking the air vent, or blocking the doors. My exasperated prayer: "Would it be asking too much for You to bend the laws of geometry a little here?" Yeah, that didn't happen, but I was inspired to a new solution that I hadn't thought of before. (Toddler's bed and girls' bunkbed smashed together in the middle of the room...not elegant, not pretty, but it works.) The space for Alex's bed is all set up, too, under our eleven-year-old son's loft. Sometime in the next week or two we will be running to the store to get a mattress for him. He already has a beautiful blue and white blanket, knit by my aunt (she has knit blankets for all the kids).

What else do we need? We do not need carpentry help at the moment; we are waiting to see Alex's situation to determine whether we will need to install a ramp. We will need clothes, but we are holding off on asking for old clothes until we know how big he is. I think our most pressing material need is CHAIRS  to go with that table. Our current chairs are literally falling apart. Again, we're asking people to simply keep their eyes open for a set of used chairs in good condition -- we will buy them, we just need all your eyes to help us look! (I'm referring to Winona people, here, obviously!)

Of course, we also need continued prayers for Alex's safety and the process to move along quickly. At this point, we could be traveling in a month...or in two months...and the way things have gone lately, it seems more likely to be on the long side. One of our concerns is getting Alex home soon enough to provide him with a few months of adjustment time before beginning school in the fall. I think I will continue fasting until we meet Alex -- perhaps we can break my fast with a shared piece of Ukrainian chocolate? Or five, given my appetite for chocolate.

Please also pray for our two-year-old, who is going through that clingy stage of toddlerhood -- having lots of difficulty separating, even with people he knows. It sits heavy on my heart to think of leaving him for three or four weeks...the other kids, too, but he won't understand what's going on at all.

Thanks, everyone!

Jerry

Quick update

Just so everyone knows...the dossier is going to be submitted to Alex's home country government next Thursday, March 29th. Not today. :-( But next Thursday is a sure thing!

More later....

The Jeopardy Theme Song

You know it, right? The one they play when you're waiting?

It's our background score these days. We're waiting--for any more news if possible about Alex's institution, about the special needs list getting registered, March 29th (the dossier submission date) if noting else works...waiting about everything, it feels like.

In the meantime, we're building beds...one from a kit (for our littlest) and one connected to our oldest's loft (for Alex). Jerry is assiduously learning Russian, and I just feel stupider and stupider at it.

Jerry is still fasting from sweets and desserts, and says that continues until we hear good news about Alex. We're all praying.

We're making sure we're techno-outfitted there so we can be in contact with home folks, and can use Google Translate English-Russian when need be. Haven't bought anything yet.

I'm planning to start packing (I kid you not) this week--why not, is my feeling, and when we do get a travel date, a lot of things happen fast.

I have to admit, we're just tired at this point and are trying to put things in order, enjoy some time with our kids, stay sane. It helps that we got news that Alex is in a somewhat better institution than we had feared, although we still don't know much at all. It feels a bit surreal. But we'll continue to wait.

Thanks for your support, everyone.

Peace, Susan

News about Alex's institution

The team in Alex's country confirmed today that he is in the same institution as another child listed on Reece;s Rainbow, and that child's description offers a little more information on the institution:

Laurel has arthrogryposis — and look at that beautiful smile!
She’s already 15 years old, and has less than 6 months (from January 2012) to be adopted, or she loses all hope for a future.
Laurel is blessed to be in a very good older child orphanage for those with mostly physical disabilities.  Her orphanage has been supported by many humanitarian aid groups, and offers child sponsorship programs and trips for these children.  Laurel does face transfer to an adult mental institution SOON, and at 16 she will no longer legally be able to be adopted at all. We simply can not let this happen to her.
Our facilitation team has met Laurel…she is very smart and friendly, and she SO wants a family of her own.  Laurel is in a region which often waives the 10 day waiting period! 

 So, based on this description, and the picture (bed in background, etc.), it sounds like Alex is one of the better institutions. Thank goodness.


No other news, no movement on the travel date. Please continue to pray for Alex...and pray for Laurel, too, okay? That girl really needs a family.

A glimmer of hope?

As most of you know, we've been praying and fasting ever since learning that the adoption authorities in Alex's home country won't even look at our paperwork until March 29 (we had hoped to be traveling by then) due to a change in the way that they process their adoptions. The change basically took Alex out of the "special needs" adoption list and put him onto the same list as kids waiting for adoption without special needs.

On Friday morning we received word from Reece's Rainbow that a new special needs list is in the process of being "registered" with the Ministry of Justice; if that comes to pass, and if Alex's condition (moderate cerebral palsy) is on the list, it could mean we'd get bumped up in the queue again -- we wouldn't be waiting until March 29 for consideration. Those are two big "ifs," and already we are hearing from the in-country team that the General Prosecutor's office may challenge the new list after it is registered, on the grounds that it is not inclusive enough.

Regardless, it is heartening to see movement on this issue. Even if Alex does not benefit directly, an expanded special needs list will bring hope to many of the children who would otherwise be stuck there. On that note, we recently heard from another family who is adopting from Alex's country (they hand-carried our paperwork over there, saving us $100)...at the medical appointment required by the U.S. Embassy before bringing a child into the United States, the doctor told the new mom, "You made a mistake. You should have just left him there." And later added: "And if you had any decency, you would keep him medicated so the rest of us wouldn't have to deal with him."

Yeah. Unbelievable. This kid has been sedated for more than a year, and now we're seeing pictures of him eating and smiling and saying English words, and he's only been off the sedation for a few days and home in the U.S. for a day. What a remarkable transformation.

Just to balance that rather sad story out, another family went through that clinic for their required physical (this is a US requirement by the way, checking for infectious diseases), and the doctor asked what she thought of her new daughter's former orphanage.  Since the mom adopted from a first class orphanage and thought so highly of the people who worked there, she gave a glowing report.  The doctor actually began to cry, saying "This is so good.  I NEVER hear reports this good."  There are plenty of people in Alex's home country who do not share the view of the first doctor.  The team that works with Reece's Rainbow over there contains a few of them. From what we've read and heard, they work tirelessly to rescue and advocate for these kids. Another bit of goodness...we continue to be overwhelmed by the level of prayer support being offered for Alex and the other children in his situation. We just received a card in the mail the other day from a friend who is offering a Mass for this intention; and after Ash Wednesday services, the nine-year-old daughter of some friends of ours came up to us to say that she had fasted from chocolate during our novena (nine days of prayer). Amazing. And I got a note from a new Reece's Rainbow friend that she would be continuing to fast from chocolate for this cause until we get a travel date for Alex. Wow.

Thanks for all the support, people. It's been quite a roller coaster, but it's all good. We'll keep you posted.

When the going gets tough, the tough start praying!

Well, everyone, we received some frustrating news. The adoption authority in Alex's home country has told us the dossier may be submitted March 29th. That's over six weeks later than we expected! And with extended approval time, and waiting for a travel date time, that puts traveling to meet Alex and adopt him well into ... May.

• All together: AUGGGGHHHHH!
• And as our kids reacted, sputtering: "That's not fair!" (We have expected early March all along.) Yes, kids, you get that point better than those fun-loving bureaucrats. We realize adopting is a privilege and not a right. But when literally everything is done, approved, translated, and collecting dust in a tray, waiting three months to travel is a bitter pill to swallow.

This far-out dossier date was unexpected on everyone's part. Because the adoption authority just reorganized, they instituted some new rules around ceasing to fast-track many special needs adoptions. We're getting caught in that delay through no fault of ours, no fault of our facilitators, and certainly no fault of Alex's. Remember--the government doesn't even formally know we hope to adopt him, due to the way they handle international adoptions. They just know we want to adopt a child his age with his special need.

Alex's country being what it is, this could "change back" to a fast-tracking process. That is our best hope for getting the date moved up. Honestly, we're ready to go. Alex is no doubt ready to have a better life: a family that loves him, therapy for his CP, an opportunity to learn. And he needs out of the institution--he's not hanging out at the Club Med. This date is just one more hurdle.

After a difficult few hours, we realized there is really nothing we can do to change this situation but pray. The situation feels like we need prayer and fasting (Mt 17:21). Jerry is fasting from sweets. I am going to be fasting from Diet Coke for nine days (those of you who know me know I'm dead serious now, because I'm completely addicted). If you feel led to fast for smooth and quick sailing for Alex's adoption, please do. You can tell us, or not, but we do appreciate it regardless.

Also, we are encouraging people to do nine days of prayer with us (our Catholic friends know this is called a novena, nothing "magical" about it, just a set period of intense intentional prayer). We're going to be praying a short prayer for the intercession of St. Joseph, who, as the foster father of Jesus, has a special love for those in need of fathers. You should feel free to pray for Alex's quick and smooth adoption process as you wish--if you pray in another fashion you prefer, please add Alex to your prayers for nine days with us all. But if you want to join us:

St. Joseph, foster-father and protector of Jesus Christ! To you do I raise my heart and hands to implore your powerful intercession. Please obtain for me from the kind Heart of Jesus the help and graces necessary for my spiritual and temporal welfare. I ask particularly for the grace of a happy death, and the special favor I now implore, that Alex is kept safe and well, and that his adoption move forward quickly.

Guardian of the Word Incarnate, I feel animated with confidence that your prayers in my behalf will be graciously heard before the throne of God.

V. O glorious St. Joseph, through the love you bear to Jesus Christ, and for the glory of His name,
R. Hear my prayers and obtain my petitions.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us, and move quickly this adoption of your small friend, Alex.

Amen.

The novena and fasting will start for us Thursday, February 9th. Please consider joining us in some fashion. We will post reminder updates on the facebook page for Alex (feel free to "like" the page and follow that way). We trust God has our back in this, but Jesus did say "Ask and you shall receive"--which means he wants us to ask for great things! We will accept God's response in any case, but we are compelled to ask for a much sooner travel date, against all bureaucratic desires. By the way, we know: moving out the travel date by three months doesn't seem like too long, but when you are a child who cannot walk living in a mental institution, and when you are prospective parents not knowing how your son is really doing, and when there is no need for it--three months is too long to wait.

Thank you, everyone. We believe Alex will thank you, too.

And the dossier is in Alex's country!

Yes, thank you, DHL!  (That's a Germany based global delivery service.)  The "extra papers" arrived and were signed for this afternoon (Eastern Europe time).  Plus we heard the the "first part" of the dossier was accepted by the government ministry, so we are waiting for a date to submit the dossier (which may be in two weeks, I hope for sooner).  Then we wait a bit longer and get a travel date.  We're inching there, folks.  Hang on, Alex.

Papers, papers, papers

Just to keep people updated:

Our dossier is in Alex's country. The same country popped a couple of new requirements before the dossier could get submitted to their adoption authority. One was pretty easy, the other, after many boring and tedious twists and turns and cyber-communiques, is going to require us doing our 2011 taxes now. We have most of the forms needed, so we hope to do it this weekend, and send these papers after a quick drive to St Paul for apostilles MONDAY.

That's the plan today anyway.

It does appear that due to a slight change in how they process this paperwork (remember they have a new adoption authority there now? The kinks are getting worked out as we type), the time between submitting a dossier and receiving a travel date is longer than it used to be. We've been telling people we hope to travel in March. Anything's possible, but it is looking more and more like the end of March and maybe April. I've got to keep this a day at a time, though, or else I go nuts.

By the way, once this is done, I solemnly promise to do every official form for any given authority in mime, interpretative dance, or both. I'm pretty darned tired of the number and information crunching!

Please continue to pray for Alex (and perhaps a smooth tax prep process). Thanks!

Peace, Susan

So now what?

Well, as some of you know, Alex's home country added a new requirement to the dossier, a simple page about permission to computerize data or something. They are moving to a digital system--yes, just now, in 2012. It's not that big deal other than finding out before our dossier was sent meant I needed to take another day off work and drive to St Paul, or get the notarized document apostilled via express mail. We're doing the latter. With the MLK holiday mixed in, I hope we'll receive the document with apostille Thursday, and I will beg another family to carry it over. Apostilling isn't expensive here in Minnesota ($5 a document), but with the mailings--$70 total (and that's assuming I don't have to FedEx this sheet overseas.) Wouldn't have been any less to drive there. Phooey.

But as we write the dossier is in a plane over the Atlantic with the Wall family, getting hand-delivered. Thank you!!! That's the biggest piece. (We were also helped by the Evensens, who hand carried our most recent "initial papers"). After we wire a down payment on our facilitation fee, they will start translating in the native language. Usually that takes a week; they are swamped with families there right now so I wouldn't be surprised if it takes longer. We're still hoping that there are no snags and they are able to submit the application and dossier the first week of February.

We also talked to Nancy Smith, who adopted from the same town Alex is in last summer. That was mostly reassuring. We got lots of details about life in his small city and how to manage eating, transportation, money exchanges, down time.... Thanks, Nancy!

Jerry is learning Russian assiduously. The country is home to two, really three, languages, and we've been told this is Alex's language. I think he is doing a really good job--remember, you have to learn a new alphabet too, Cyrillic--but I am skeptical that it will help loads once we're there. I'm pretty good at Spanish but when I'm in the moment of speaking it, I stumble all over the place figuring it out. And that was with years of study. But in terms of this being more for Alex, to help him adjust more easily, I totally get it, and have said I will try to learn more (any) once the dossier is done. Jerry has been using the Pimmler system, some "Russian for talking to children" CDs, and some tutoring with a friend named Elena, from Russia but living in Winona right now. He tried LiveMocha but seems to be moving away from that program.

We're also planning out the bedroom situation (this will require some moving). We want things set up before we go.

Me, I'm trying to research and write the third fourth of the book I received a grant to write this year--I really want to get that done before travel--and while I am pleased with where I am in this project in general, the deadline is pretty anxiety-producing. If we travel in March, this MAY be doable. But it is nose to the grindstone--and frankly, there is only so fast you can do this kind of work. I would appreciate prayers to get it done.

Anyway, I think that's enough of an update, right? Thanks for hanging in there with us, everyone! We'll continue to report as the situation merits! God is in charge!

Peace, Susan

Fingerprinting on Tuesday...?

Hello friends! We received our appointment for USCIS fingerprinting (Yay!), and will try to go early...that is, Tuesday, starting out at 5am. It would have been today, but we have freezing drizzle throughout Minnesota...and I'm not driving in that stuff ever! Our friend Mary is going to get the older kids to school in the morning and the youngest is coming for the ride.

Prayers for a quick and smooth trip and appointment appreciated!

More preparations for Alex

While Susan has been knee-high in paperwork, I have been trying to take care of some practical preparations for Alex's arrival in a few months (March or April, we're thinking). This past weekend, we met with a native Russian who moved to our town four years ago. She visited (introduced by a mutual friend) with a view to learning how she might be able to help Alex's transition. She is happy to provide translation services on occasion, especially around appointments and other events that might be a bit scary. She's also going to try teaching me Russian...we'll see how that goes. And then at the kids' school the other day, I ran into another acquaintance (from Early Childhood Family Education) who is also a Russian immigrant, and she offered to help with translation as well. We were late for teacher conferences, so I didn't have a chance to follow up, but I expect that to be on my to-do list. And then we have a friend who lives three blocks away who took five years of Russian in college who will also help out in a pinch.

Another thing I'm working on is establishing relationships with our support circle. Through our good friend (and doula to three of our kids!) who works in the local early family education department, we got a referral to a good family therapist. It is hard to imagine someone growing up in institutions for their first five years not having some adjustment issues -- and it's possible that that adjustment period could be pretty bumpy. We're going to see her on December 1 to establish a relationship, and then we'll probably schedule an appointment with her for shortly after we come home with Alex. Even if he has no immediate adjustment issues, having someone to help him think through what it means to be adopted may be helpful down the road.

Another interesting tidbit...we've been praying for Alex to have a playmate at the adult institution where he's living now, someone to help him pass the time. Today we received an e-mail from someone we know through Reece's Rainbow who is adopting another child from the same country as Alex. She wrote to say that she had a vivid dream in which she was playing with Alex...and apparently, she didn't know this was something on our heart that we were praying for. So maybe that is another "nudge" from God, a little reassurance that there are angels (some perhaps in human form) watching over him.