Preparing for change

A few nights before we left on this trip, we took the kids out to a local sit-down restaurant and had a relatively long conversation about the adoption -- specifically, what would change, and what would stay the same. We actually brought along a pen and paper to write things down. The kids were very insightful -- and encouragingly to us, ahead of the game in terms of their expectations. Here's the list they came up with:

THINGS THAT WILL STAY THE SAME

• same bedtime
• the school we go to
• same house
• same chores
• same rules
• our parents will love us the same (one of the kids came up with that on their own!)
• same sicknesses
• still going to church and the Catholic Worker [house of hospitality]
• still go to the park
• still pray

THINGS THAT WILL BE DIFFERENT

•  maybe a wheelchair and ramp
• we'll need to help out more
• but we will have less work in the long run (fewer chores because of another sibling)
• Alex will get more attention at first, which means the other kids will get less for a while
• maybe we won't go as many places for a while
• Matthew (age 2) might have more tantrums
• we'll have more fun!
• Alex might be a good playmate for Julia (age 7)
• we'll learn how to trust each other more
• we'll learn weird words

Obviously it's not comprehensive, but what makes this little list special, I think, is that it came from the kids -- and served as a good starting point for discussing expectations and surfacing any concerns they might have.