A short note about our first meeting with Alex

Well, I have been writing a long, detailed post about our adventurous journey to Alex’s hometown and our first meeting and our first few days visiting him, but it looks like I am going to have to offer the short version for now; between settling in and our various meetings and orphanage visits, and jetlag and homesickness, it’s been difficult to get through to the end of that longer post. Later, I promise.

When we got to the orphanage, we were warmly greeted by a handful of staff members; we are the first people to adopt from this orphanage in anyone’s memory, at least ten years. We were asked to don white coats—the uniform of the staff here—and were ushered into a bare room with a sort of bed or cot and a writing desk. They brought Alex to us immediately.

My first thought? “There’s that smile!” All of the pictures we had of Alex showed him smiling, and he smiled broadly, and laughed a lot, throughout our brief first visit. What a happy giggler!

We have already posted some pictures of Alex, as well as some video, in previous posts. Were you surprised at his size? He doesn’t look five (six in September), does he? His behavior, too, is not what you’d expect.

And that, I have to say honestly, was our second reaction—shock. Shock at his size and the extent of his developmental delay. Initially we were convinced that he was mildly to moderately mentally impaired. Now, after getting to know him better and after consulting with more than a dozen other families who have adopted children from the institutions here in the past six months, we’re less certain of that. We’re being told that he looks GOOD in comparison to many of the other kids who have been adopted from here recently. The other families have given us some very detailed observations and, we think, made a persuasive argument that what we are seeing is primarily the result of institutionalization, along with some CP issues, of course.

In any case, within twenty minutes of meeting him, we had a semi-circle of maybe eight adults standing around us formally asking whether we intended to accept the referral for Alex. I have to admit to choking up as I said “Yes!” The thought of leaving this sweet boy in this institution, as wonderful as it is compared to similar ones in this country, was unbearable. (And from the shocked expressions on the faces of the adults in the room, as well as some comments afterward, I learned that seeing a male choke up is as rare in this culture as dancing elephants, ha ha.)

The process to get Alex home is going to be much rougher than we expected. When I began this process, I was told I could leave after court about ten days to two weeks after arriving in country. Now it is looking like anyone leaving within three weeks is optimistic, and frankly, it could be much longer. While other families in other regions do commit to this longer process, this is definitely not what we expected or signed up for. We would not be here if we had expected a four to seven week process. So that has been difficult. However, we are beginning to see that there is much good to be done here. Our presence is “opening up” this orphanage for other adoptive families. Another Reece’s Rainbow family “opened up” another orphanage over the winter, and as of today, ten children have families coming for them—and many of those children are teens with special needs. The RR staff has similar hopes for this orphanage.

Gotta run to meet with the director of the orphanage—more later, including more pictures and video.