A visit with Alex, and the orphanage director, and more videos

Today marks the fourth day since we met Alex. Our visit was shorter than the previous two times because we expected to meet with the director of the orphanage today; she’s been gone at a conference all week, which has also held up our paperwork.

When we arrived at the orphanage, all the children were gathered together in the courtyard waiting to watch a play that was being put on by a group from a nearby city. (We were later told by our facilitator that a 15-year-old girl who we’d contemplated adopting was also there, sitting in the front row, but we didn’t recognize her—all of the children wear headscarves outdoors.) The staff encouraged us to watch the play with Alex, but after about ten minutes he began to get visibly sad—he got more and more withdrawn and listless; then the lower lip started sticking out; and finally he began whimpering and crying a little. The staff took him aside to find out what was wrong, and apparently he expected to spend more one-on-one time with us, because when they asked him if he wanted to go with us, his face lit up and he said, “Da, da!” (“Yes” in Russian.) Luda, our facilitator, smiled at us and said, “See? He’s learning how to manipulate his parents already. If he cries here, he gets no attention, but with his parents, it is different.” I am not sure about that—I don’t think that he’s known us long enough for that kind of behavior to develop—but it is possible that he has been a little spoiled by the staff and knows that when he cries, he gets attention. Or…maybe he was just genuinely sad!

In any case, we pushed him on the swing for about forty-five minutes. He LOVES the swing. We count: “One, two, three!” (in Russian) and then swing him real high (holding on to him firmly, of course), and he laughs and laughs and laughs with delight. We also sing songs to him: You Are My Sunshine, This Little Light of Mine, Amazing Grace, the theme song from Green Acres (that’s for you, Shirley K.)…we’re told that he loves music. We also prayed over him for a while.

At around 11, he had his "kasha" break. "Kasha” is the Russian word for porridge; it looks something like Malt-O-Meal, if Malt-O-Meal could possibly be more bland and glue-y. This time his nanny encouraged us to try feeding him. I tried it for a while, then when Susan took over, he clammed up, which prompted his nanny to take over again. When she took over, it was all business: shloop, shloop, shloop—down the hatch it went, quite quickly. We’ve always seen them feed him; we need to ask how often he feeds himself. We’re told that he can, and goodness knows, if he can manipulate a crayon, he should be able to feed himself. If so, that is what he will be doing once we get settled at home.

Then back on the swing. Before long, Luda came with the director, who was followed by a small retinue of staff. She introduced herself very briefly and curtly, and then we were directed to continue playing with Alex while the director and a handful of other adults looked on. We smiled big, fake smiles as we pulled out all the tricks we had learned to make Alex laugh and giggle. I muttered to Susan, “Talk about your public parenting!” which made her laugh. “Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!” (There’s an outdated cultural reference for you.)

After a moment the director asked Alex, in Russian, “You like?” I may have missed the personal pronoun for “them” in there, or not, but in any case she was clearly looking for some sort of positive statement from him. He just said, “Da!” And that was enough for the director, who smiled, nodded, turned around and left.

Honestly, we had come prepared for more of a discussion with her. We’re told by our facilitator that she is very pro-adoption, and excited about this adoption, but also very nervous because it is her first time through a very complicated process, and she doesn’t want to screw anything up. There are many people in this country strongly opposed to international adoption on nationalistic grounds, and they will use any means possible to thwart them. The consequences for the director and the orphanage could be dire.

After the director left, the nanny took Alex off the swing, which always makes him cry and fuss—which is why we hadn’t taken him off before, despite getting tired of it ourselves. We didn’t want a fussy kid when the director showed up!

We settled Alex into the stroller they have for him and walked him through the grounds, accompanied by the nanny who is our personal minder for these visits. The grounds are covered in beautifully maintained gardens, with lots of flowers (including roses) and a huge bed of strawberries. The nanny, whose name is Yanna, waded into the strawberries to find some ripe ones for us, and then climbed a cherry tree to pick a whole bunch of what they call “apple cherries” (they look like regular cherries to me). We tried giving a strawberry to Alex, but he just threw it and laughed; we tried feeding it to him, but he spit it out. Maybe involuntarily, due to the CP, but when we asked if he wanted it, we didn’t really get any response.

We got a big response when we went over to the picnic table and took out a sheet of paper to put the cherries on. His eyes got big and he said a word in Russian—I think it was “die,” which would be a short form of the Russian word for “give me.” He recognized the paper from the previous day, when he had tried drawing with crayons.

So out came the crayons again. He loves the crayons, and he likes handing them back to us in exchange for new ones. His hand coordination isn’t that great, but he is very delighted when we put our hand over his to help him scribble. I think he likes seeing the colors show up.

Unfortunately, not long after the crayons came out, we got a call from Luda saying the director had signed all the necessary papers, and we needed to run them over to Children’s Services, and the nanny would be by shortly to pick Alex up for lunch and a nap.

When we leave Alex we give him a kiss on the forehead and our family blessing for children (“May the Lord bless you and keep you, in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit” while making the sign of the cross on the child’s forehead). Boy, did he cry when we left! We heard him wailing as we walked down the driveway to meet Luda. This is a good thing, of course, in the big picture!

We dropped Luda at Children’s Services with a promise to meet for lunch later. Two hours later, we stopped for lunch at a place that looked like a dive—well, it kind of was—but which served a meal that easily rivaled any we could get in the Winona area. (Yeah, I know the jokes about restaurants in Winona….)

It was a good day on the paperwork front: the director signed her paperwork, the local social services branch signed their paperwork, the local committee signed their paperwork—which means that all of that paperwork will go back to the capital and the national adoption office tomorrow. As Luda put it at lunch, we picked up a couple of days compared to where we thought we’d be at this time. Monday is a holiday, so the national adoption office will look at the paperwork on Tuesday; if it gets approved within a couple days, we’ll be ready to ask for a court date. And that means that the earliest possible court date would be Monday, June 11—if nothing goes wrong. Please continue to pray for a speedy process, because as charming as this Eastern European town is, we want to go home to our other kids as soon as humanly possible, with their new brother in tow.

Here are some more videos and pictures—no Alex pics from today, but some from the previous visits. Just a note that you'll hear us calling him "Sasha" or "Sashka" in the videos--that is a common nickname for Alex in his country, and how he is called here. His legal name is and will be Alex, but we will wait until we get to the States to begin using that name,

Alex on some therapy equipment (first day):


Alex on the swing:

Alex looking through our family book--we don't think he has any concept of what's in it, even though we read it to him:

Alex eating his "second breakfast."

Walking through the grounds of the orphanage:

Alex drawing with a crayon:


That's all for today, folks!

A short note about our first meeting with Alex

Well, I have been writing a long, detailed post about our adventurous journey to Alex’s hometown and our first meeting and our first few days visiting him, but it looks like I am going to have to offer the short version for now; between settling in and our various meetings and orphanage visits, and jetlag and homesickness, it’s been difficult to get through to the end of that longer post. Later, I promise.

When we got to the orphanage, we were warmly greeted by a handful of staff members; we are the first people to adopt from this orphanage in anyone’s memory, at least ten years. We were asked to don white coats—the uniform of the staff here—and were ushered into a bare room with a sort of bed or cot and a writing desk. They brought Alex to us immediately.

My first thought? “There’s that smile!” All of the pictures we had of Alex showed him smiling, and he smiled broadly, and laughed a lot, throughout our brief first visit. What a happy giggler!

We have already posted some pictures of Alex, as well as some video, in previous posts. Were you surprised at his size? He doesn’t look five (six in September), does he? His behavior, too, is not what you’d expect.

And that, I have to say honestly, was our second reaction—shock. Shock at his size and the extent of his developmental delay. Initially we were convinced that he was mildly to moderately mentally impaired. Now, after getting to know him better and after consulting with more than a dozen other families who have adopted children from the institutions here in the past six months, we’re less certain of that. We’re being told that he looks GOOD in comparison to many of the other kids who have been adopted from here recently. The other families have given us some very detailed observations and, we think, made a persuasive argument that what we are seeing is primarily the result of institutionalization, along with some CP issues, of course.

In any case, within twenty minutes of meeting him, we had a semi-circle of maybe eight adults standing around us formally asking whether we intended to accept the referral for Alex. I have to admit to choking up as I said “Yes!” The thought of leaving this sweet boy in this institution, as wonderful as it is compared to similar ones in this country, was unbearable. (And from the shocked expressions on the faces of the adults in the room, as well as some comments afterward, I learned that seeing a male choke up is as rare in this culture as dancing elephants, ha ha.)

The process to get Alex home is going to be much rougher than we expected. When I began this process, I was told I could leave after court about ten days to two weeks after arriving in country. Now it is looking like anyone leaving within three weeks is optimistic, and frankly, it could be much longer. While other families in other regions do commit to this longer process, this is definitely not what we expected or signed up for. We would not be here if we had expected a four to seven week process. So that has been difficult. However, we are beginning to see that there is much good to be done here. Our presence is “opening up” this orphanage for other adoptive families. Another Reece’s Rainbow family “opened up” another orphanage over the winter, and as of today, ten children have families coming for them—and many of those children are teens with special needs. The RR staff has similar hopes for this orphanage.

Gotta run to meet with the director of the orphanage—more later, including more pictures and video.

Videos of Alex

Meeting Alex for the first time:

In the physical exercise / therapy room : Showing us he can stand with support: Alex drawing--Jerry is encouraging him in Russian to draw a circle We'll share more (in words) later, I promise.

Introducing Alex

First meeting!

Next day--he loves the swing, let me tell you. 

A nanny is trying to get Alex to walk.  He can't, but he can stand with support for a while.

More swinging!

We'll tell more and upload more later.  We JUST got internet in this small town.

Preparing for change

A few nights before we left on this trip, we took the kids out to a local sit-down restaurant and had a relatively long conversation about the adoption -- specifically, what would change, and what would stay the same. We actually brought along a pen and paper to write things down. The kids were very insightful -- and encouragingly to us, ahead of the game in terms of their expectations. Here's the list they came up with:

THINGS THAT WILL STAY THE SAME

• same bedtime
• the school we go to
• same house
• same chores
• same rules
• our parents will love us the same (one of the kids came up with that on their own!)
• same sicknesses
• still going to church and the Catholic Worker [house of hospitality]
• still go to the park
• still pray

THINGS THAT WILL BE DIFFERENT

•  maybe a wheelchair and ramp
• we'll need to help out more
• but we will have less work in the long run (fewer chores because of another sibling)
• Alex will get more attention at first, which means the other kids will get less for a while
• maybe we won't go as many places for a while
• Matthew (age 2) might have more tantrums
• we'll have more fun!
• Alex might be a good playmate for Julia (age 7)
• we'll learn how to trust each other more
• we'll learn weird words

Obviously it's not comprehensive, but what makes this little list special, I think, is that it came from the kids -- and served as a good starting point for discussing expectations and surfacing any concerns they might have.

Pictures from the capital

I thought I would have more time to blog this week, but honestly, we've been taking advantage of having down time in a major Eastern European city...which means we have been walking and walking and walking all over the historic district. Unfortunately, since Alex's country (like most EE countries) forbids associating information about the adoptive child with the name of the country, I'm somewhat restricted in what I can write. I am hoping to start a separate blog about our travels, but for now, here are a few pictures especially for other Reece's Rainbow adoptive families who might be traveling after us.

Here is a picture of the door leading to our apartment:

Interesting, huh? You put a sort of magnet key thing on the side of the door, open it up, and you see this:

See that narrow little box on the left there, the one with the button on the side? That would be the ELEVATOR. Extremely small and extremely basic, but apparently functional. Probably dates from the '50s or '60s. We took it once, to haul up the luggage. After that we just preferred hoofing it up the six flights of stairs. Then there's this double-door arrangement; you open the deadbolt on this sort of steel safe-like door, and then there's the more decorative inner door behind it. And behind that...a pretty decent little one-bedroom apartment, complete with a little kitchenette and small balcony. I didn't take any pictures because really, it's pretty nondescript. Think of a mid-range hotel room.

Actually, I guess I lied, because here is a picture of Susan with Nico, a member of the local rr team who helped set us up in the apartment. He picked us up from the airport, helped us change our money, brought us to the apartment, and took us grocery shopping at the local mini-market.

Here is a bad picture of the local mini-market. It's an upscale place with an organic deli attached. We've had mixed experiences there. On the one hand, we made a lot of basic mistakes, like getting in the wrong line (only one cash register takes credit cards) and handing money directly rather than leaving it on the money plate provided on the counter (a widespread expectation in this country -- unless you're dealing with an outdoor vendor, you never hand money directly to someone; you put it down, then they pick it up, and place the change back on the plate). There's the usual difficulty with the language barrier. And this afternoon we were followed very closely by a security guy -- as in, he was two steps behind us the entire time we were shopping, and looking directly at us. On the other hand, the shop women have been largely cordial, and a couple have been very helpful. One woman took us all over the store finding different things we had written on a list in Russian, giggling the whole time; the other shop women looked on, amused. Another woman helped us load minutes on our phone card from the electronic kiosk. She didn't know any English, but between my very limited russian and her enthusiastic gestures, we figured it out.

Speaking of food, we visited a certain buffet restaurant that turned out to be very good. Normally I hear "buffet" and run the other way, but this place advertised traditional cuisine, and it delivered. All of the food was excellently prepared, and the ambiance was nice, too. The price was also very good; each of the meals pictured below ran $11 - $13 -- total, for two people, including drinks.

This was one of the meals we had for Susan's birthday celebration:

Our apartment building is on the immediate right, above the Gemma. It's on a very long, somewhat steep hill.

And finally...here is some of the food we bought on a recent grocery trip. A large bottle of water, a box of pineapple/banana/orange juice, four yogurt drinks, and two yogurts, all for about $12.

Planes, no trains, and automobiles

It's Sunday evening now and we're packing up to go to Alex's part of the country.  This will be a 3-4 hr drive in the morning (we're not driving, one of the facilitators is!).  Then we find a social worker, get her or him to come along and go to Alex's institution.  (The first visit must be mediated by a social worker.)  We visit Alex (typing that seems a bit surreal), we accept the referral, and we go to a sort of nearby large town with a notary to fill out paperwork and file it, so we can get the court clock running.  Then we get put into a new apartment, which we will be sharing with a facilitator for a couple of days (it's a three-bedroom apartment).  There is no wifi there yet; it needs to be connected...soon.  We do have a modem for the computer that should work if this small town has 3G mobile phone service.  But it is possible that we will not be in touch immediately, as much as we would like to be.  Don't worry about us, but please pray this goes well. 

This meeting with Alex will likely be short.  But we will receive a schedule for visiting him the following days--almost certainly daily and somewhat longer visits.

I'm kind of looking forward to the drive because we have been walking all over the capital city the past three days, and I'm sore!  This is a very walkable city and the weather has been beautiful.  It feels a lot like NYC in the boroughs to me, but safer.  Everyone has been friendly with our middlin' Russian.  Jerry has downloaded some pictures but we've barely had time to do anything with them.  If there is time tonight we'll get some up.  In the meantime--blessed Pentecost to you all and I hope you hear from us soon.

Peace, Susan

p.s. Chris, yes, I've had borscht and vareniskies (like peirogies), among other things.  Not a huge fan of borscht but it was better here than at home, and the vareniskies were excellent.  But the capital city (esp the tourist center where we are near) is pretty cosmopolitan and we've eaten a spectrum of things and made sandwiches at home.  The yogurt here is amazing.

p.p.s. to all my fellow theology geeks--yes, we've been doing the church tours here.  I hope that will be another post, just for fun.

Taking the adoption process one step at a time...literally

Today was supposed to be a pretty low-key adoption day, with our only official work being picking up some paperwork (a huge stack of papers that constitute our official referral to Alex)…supposedly a five-minute process. But when we arrived at the Ministry of Sports and Culture building (which houses the official adoption bureau), we found a line of other parents waiting outside because the official who was supposed to start handing out the signed referrals at 3 p.m. hadn’t arrived yet. So we waited outside the building for almost an hour. We spent the time shopping for souvenirs (picked up a couple t-shirts), watching the swarm of workers restoring the cobblestone street and the surrounding buildings for the upcoming Eurocup soccer match (a huge deal here, on the order of a Superbowl), admiring a nearby church that was so large and resplendent that it should have been a cathedral (but it wasn’t), chatting with the other adopting couples, and getting to know Ludmilla, one of our facilitators, a little bit better. Ludmilla offered lots of interesting insights into her work, and the way that the adoption system works in this country.

Once the adoption official arrived, the process of signing the proper registry only took a few minutes. (Everything official is done on paper; nothing is electronic, which slows down the process a lot.)

By the time we got out, it was rush hour, and hard to find a cab. So we decided to walk home; our facilitator was going in the same direction, so she joined us. Along the way, she patiently answered our many questions about the culture in this Eastern European country, and gave us some advice on polite behavior: Never wear a hat indoors. Never cross your arms or legs during an official meeting. Don’t whistle indoors. Don’t sit on the floor. (The latter being part of a wider set of beliefs about the dangers of exposure to the cold.) She also pointed out some of the major landmarks along the route as we passed through the city’s historic district.

We stopped for dinner at a restaurant serving the local cuisine, then continued to walk the rest of the way home. We’re walking a lot around here, distances of several miles at a time. It’s like the adoption process…taking it one step at a time will get you there eventually.

Quick Version of the Referral Appointment

We just got out of the referral appointment and it went well.  We are getting a referral for Alex, and saw a couple of pictures we had not seen before (incl one when he was by our guess 1 yr old--and SO cute!).  I tell you, he's still smiling in all these pictures.  We honestly didn't learn that much, and want to be careful about what we share publicly, but the medical information we received was all repeated.  Alex was born with very low birth weight (which I assume means a premature birth, but I don't know for sure--just makes sense with the CP).  He goes by a nickname.  They say he has a calm character.  We're speculating a bit from information received, but we think he entered the orphanage around one year old.  But we don't know, it could have been earlier.  We pick up the referral around 3pm tomorrow.

People are right when they say this is a paper-heavy process...the office is stacked with papers and phone calls (not emails) were being made to make absolutely sure Alex was still in that particular institution.  The lady who handled the appointment was nice and very impressed with Jerry's Russian--everyone is!

More later, Susan

p.s. the plan is we meet Alex on Monday....

Here we are (thanks to you!)

So here we are, safe and sound in the capital of Alex’s home country (we still can’t mention its name!), after a grueling 20-hour trip. In a few hours, we will have our appointment at the government’s adoption office, where we will get the referral to see Alex. Unfortunately, ever since they reorganized that department, they no longer give you the paperwork the same day; we have to wait to receive it until tomorrow, and since tomorrow is Friday, we won’t be able to see Alex until Monday. So we will have some down time in this Eastern European capital city over the weekend. Then on Monday we will be driven by Serge, the head of the Reece’s Rainbow facilitation team in this country, about four hours south of here to the institution where Alex is living, and then we will get to see him.

We’re hoping for a fast process for several reasons, one of which would be the impending European cup in early June—Europeans drop everything for their “football.” Another would be…we miss our kids at home! And we know that our youngest two year old is probably wondering when we’re coming back. We’ve had some limited success talking with them on the phone ($14 for three minutes!) and over Skype, although we’ve had a number of technical difficulties, not to mention some difficulty figuring out Skype’s very poorly planned user interface.

In the past week we haven’t had time to post anything because we’ve been insanely busy packing and preparing to be gone for several weeks (paying bills, setting up stuff for kids, doing all the gardening that would need to be done over the next month, etc.). During that week, we really felt the support, encouragement, and excitement of our wider community—family, friends, and acquaintances. Many, many people have stopped to ask about the adoption; many have offered their help, especially in terms of supporting Susan’s mom as she cares for four kids alone; many have offered prayers, which are deeply appreciated; and we’ve also received more financial help—including an anonymous donation, apparently from the same person who sent us an anonymous gift at Christmastime. You might remember that I (Jerry) was extremely reluctant to enter into this process, mainly for practical reasons, and also because I had a glimmering of how challenging it would be. (Good thing I was ignorant of the details!) In fact, I had ticked off on my fingers to Susan all the reasons why we couldn’t do this—good, solid reasons! But not an hour later we were praying at the Cathedral and I had a very strong sense that God was calling us to do this. It was striking because I have very rarely had such a strong. clear sense of God’s call. And when I pushed back against it a little, one of the things that came back to me was something like, “I want you to do this, not only for the sake of a child, but because of the many good things that will come out of this for you and your family.” The tremendous support we have felt from friends, family, and community members throughout this process has definitely got to be part of that outpouring of blessing. It is humbling to be on the receiving end of it.

Blogging this experience feels a little narcissistic, especially with so many people in our world, not to mention our immediate community and family, going through so much right now. I think in particular of my sister and her family, who are getting ready to welcome a child, Dominic, who will be born with very serious birth defects right around the time when we will be coming home with Alex. I also think about a family whose kids attend school with our kids who just lost a son to suicide. And of course we always remember in prayer the many children around the world who are suffering in worse conditions than Alex. So: we don’t want to live in an adoption bubble, to the exclusion of the needs of others around the world. But we will continue to write about this experience for the sake of our family (especially the kids!) and the extended community who have become very real partners with us on this journey.

Speaking of which, I’ve written up a little post about our trip over here for anyone who cares (mainly our kids and families); you’ll find that below.

Traveling to Alex's country

Here is the story of our journey to Alex’s country.

Susan’s mom flew up from Alabama on Saturday. The kids were very excited to see her, even our two-year-old, who mainly knows her through phone calls and Skype, being too young to remember his visit to her house last summer. She came bearing gifts and promises of smoothies and other fun things to spoil grandchildren. I prepared some care instructions for her, as well as a calendar of the kids’ many activities over the next three weeks (which includes the end of school, field trips, etc.). The care instructions have become something of a joke around here, because they run 32 pages, single-spaced (well, in 14 point type). But if you think about it, there’s a lot to tell—safety information, medical information, contact numbers, and the toddler’s basic schedule. Kids need routine, especially in a time of change. I also prepared a map of Winona and a list of fun things to do around town.

On Monday night, the night before our trip, we took the kids out for a celebratory ice cream sundae at the Lakeview Drive-in and put them to bed with promises to see them in three weeks. Each of the older kids expressed at least a little anxiety about our departure; our youngest daughter expressed a lot, eventually crying herself to sleep.

Last-minute preparations kept us up past 11 again. Then our oldest daughter woke up at around midnight complaining of nausea. (She actually stayed home from school the next day.) And then I woke up at 4 because of pre-travel nerves, which meant going into this trip on less than four hours’ sleep.

At around quarter after five we were picked up by our friend and neighbor, Todd—one of half a dozen people to offer to do that for us (thank you all!). We had a gorgeous ride to the Cities on Highway 61, which runs along the Mississippi River, and a good conversation besides.

Todd and Susan ... obviously morning people!

On the flight to Grankfurt

A TV for every passenger makes for a very quiet plane. Here Susanis tracking the progress of the flight.

We flew United Airlines from Minneapolis to Neward on a tiny little puddle jumper (we did get an exit row), then had a three-hour layover in Newark. We tried connecting with the kids on Skype but all of our technology kept going haywire, which was disappointing. The TSA screening, which we had to do twice (once in Minneapolis, once in Newark due to a change of terminals), was its usual unpleasant self. In fact I was wishing I had my camera out because we witnessed a YouTube moment when a TSA officer completely flew off the handle, shouting at a woman who refused to go through the full-body scanner. “Okay, you just wait there until you cool down, lady! You enjoy waiting, Have fun!” And then to her colleagues: “She’s a bit crazy, that woman is!” Funny, the only person acting crazy was Ms. TSA. The woman in question submitted to a pat-down without any fuss, but the TSA folks made sure to make it into a public spectacle, yelling, “Female opt out!” and stuff. In fact, there was one guy who seemed to be the designated yeller, because he kept yelling at the top of his voice to everyone in line.

The security process in Frankfurt was an interesting contrast to this—calm, orderly, quick, and quiet. No one so much as raising their voice. Hmmm.

After the frustration trying to Skype the kids, we realized that our travel agency FAILED when it came to ensuring we got exit row or bulkhead seats for my 6’7” frame. They told us to request at the gate; turns out you have to reserve online 24 hours in advance. By the time we got to the gate, the exit row seats were all taken. That meant spending the next seven hours crammed into a tiny seat—and definitely no sleep.

On the upside, the service on Luftansa was excellent. The flight was on one of those jumbo jets…our kids will think it’s cool so I included some photos. (Everyone gets their own movie screen!) They served a delicious dinner and breakfast.

We swung through Frankfurt, where I got pulled out of line for a random security check. The guy who did it was very calm, joking around…it wasn’t a problem at all. We spent our short layover in Frankfurt at McDonald’s, which had huge windows looking out onto the airport. Huge windows with lots of early morning light is just the ticket when your body is wondering what the heck you’re doing up and around at 1 in the morning.

I’ll write about our arrival in Alex’s home country later today. Right now, we’re off to the adoption appointment!

See you on the other side...

of the ocean that is! 

T - 2 and counting...

Until we leave....

Looking for a ride from Winona...

...no, no, no, not all the way to Eastern Europe! Just to the Twin Cities! This would be to catch our flight to Eastern Europe on Tuesday, May 22, at 10:50. The catch...we have to leave around 5:30 a.m.

We're hoping to avoid leaving at 4:30 the previous afternoon on the airport shuttle (which does not leave early enough Tuesday morning). Our trip is going to be long enough already!

In other news...we are packing and preparing like crazy. Things are feeling a little frantic around here, with everything that needs to be done. We'll be posting more once we're actually on Alex's home country's soil. : )

The Nesting Post?

If we had time to type about nesting, I guess we would.

It's been NUTS.  So many little things have gone awry in the past few days we feel like we have "made it into the club." (This is apparently incredibly common.)  People doing these adoptions talk about spiritual warfare, and I've got to tell you, this process will make you a believer that it is real.  And yes, we're fine.

Anyway, we're getting there.  I (Susan) am packing like crazy, and Jerry is pulling together a lot of things to pass on to our kids' caregiver(s).  We have tickets.  We're having talks with the kids about what to expect.  We're having incredible problems with Skype.  My computer is nearly on the fritz.  But we're getting there!

The amount of support from friends in the community, at our parish, at my work, has been remarkable.  I can't even begin to quantify it.  We are very blessed.  And SO many people are looking forward to meeting Alex.  (We have to keep putting it out there--Alex may be "under wraps" quite a bit for a while, to get him acclimated to our family and regular life.  But it's great that people are excited!)

We had a conversation this week with the special education teacher at Bluffview, the director of the school, and a school psychologist for the district about Alex's needs and school this Fall.  We all know it is premature before we know Alex, but we wanted to have a conversation about possibilities before everyone cleared for the summer.  Well, we left the meeting pleased.  They're looking forward to the challenge and simply in terms of physical accommodations, came up with some great possibilities right away (impressive in that they have never had a Kindergarten student who could not walk).  We also talked about ELL (formerly ESL) options, and psychologically what may be possible to address.    They seem willing to do a "slow break-in" to schooling (part time, or not starting until November, etc.), given Alex may have had no schooling at all.  We're hopeful this will work out well.  I've got to say to the locals who read the blog--we do love Bluffview Montessori.

Posting may be light, but it is because we are in high gear!  Please keep us in your prayers! 
Peace, Susan

May 24th it is!

We got a lovely 6 a.m. wakeup call from Nancy at Reece's Rainbow this morning, letting us know that we finally got our travel date (*only* six months after submitting all our paperwork, but who's counting?). We have to be at the government's adoption office in Alex's home country at noon on May 24, which means leaving here on May 22. Then it's about three weeks in country, and home in early to mid June. We're praying for a SHORT trip!

Alex's orphanage

Well, we didn't get a travel date today...it could come any day now, really...but we did connect with another family who is adopting another child from Alex's country, a 15-year-old girl who we were considering adopting at one point (in addition to Alex). And they have a connection to a U.S.-based organization, Serving Special Orphans, that visits that institution about once a year. Here are some videos from the institution; one is from Serving Special Orphans, the second is from another organization's 2008 mission trip, and the third is from February 2011 (also Serving Special Orphans).

Here is a link to the third video, which I can't embed:
http://servingspecialorphans.blogspot.com/2011/02/orphans-in-znamenka-sing-their-hearts.html

The woman who runs this organization has also described a couple of her recent visits; you can find those descriptions here: February 2011 visit (scroll down to last paragraph); June 2011.

I think the videos and the descriptions capture the complicated picture in the orphanages over there. On the one hand, you will see smiling and happy children there -- and that's good. On the other hand, you will also see children living in inhumane conditions. Another take-away for me...as the author describes, this orphanage is vastly improved over where it was 10 years ago. The trend is in the right direction. International organizations and the families who adopt these special needs children are contributing to that trend.

Share the Hope for Harper

In any case you didn't know, I (Susan) and Jennifer Doloski (mom to RR's "Patrick", now Joshua) have been beating the bushes for our mutual friend Vera, who is trying to adopt a 4 1/2 yr old girl code-named "Harper" from the same Eastern European country.  Vera's got a heart-tugging story here and Harper is in need of more advanced medical care asap.  But most of all, we care a lot about Vera, who has been in the thick of this dossier prep process with us.  And she needs to fundraise $15,500 as quickly as possible (probably within 2 months).

So we're doing a great big fun giveaway fundraiser!  You can help them out by sharing that blog post link, and/or donating yourself. 

Vera's adoption blog is here (and not private!).  Please keep them in your prayers; they are trying to move super-fast and their dossier may be in the mail this week!